


If I Believe You

by SanSese



Series: Inspired by Lyrics [2]
Category: Football RPF
Genre: Hurt, I'm Sorry, M/M, Sad, like really sad, no happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-20
Updated: 2016-09-20
Packaged: 2018-08-16 09:05:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 491
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8096188
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SanSese/pseuds/SanSese
Summary: And I'm petrified of being aloneIt's pathetic, I knowAnd I toss and I turn in my bedIt's just like I lost my head (lost my head)David thought he could handle it.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [myblueworld](https://archiveofourown.org/users/myblueworld/gifts).



> Written for Utami, can be read as the sequel to Whatever You Want To Do Is All Right With Me. (with If I Believe You by The 1975 as inspiration)

And I’m petrified of being alone

It’s pathetic, I know

And I toss and I turn in my bed

It’s just like I lost my head (lost my head)

David thought he could handle it. 

It was just another game after all, just another rainy Saturday. The chatter in the locker room fogged his brain, the closeness of many bodies in the same room not enough to warm him up. He changed his clothes on auto pilot, staring forward, not really looking at something. His teammates wanted to talk to him, but he waved them off. They seemed to understand, for they quickly picked up their conversations again, some with worried looks on their faces. The older ones knew, the new arrivals would soon know too. 

But David didn’t care about that. No, he wanted to know how he’ll be able to face one James Milner. He had thought to tell Pep he didn’t feel good, but that was a chicken move. David was better than that. He couldn’t, and wouldn’t let a man affect his performance and composure. Maybe Pep will substitute him after an hour, and this thought made David cringe. How low could he fall for even wishing something like this? He tied his shoelaces and got up, determined. It was just a game. Just a man.

The tunnel went smoothly. David stayed at the back, just smiling at the child waiting for him to take his hand, and ignored the visitor side. David knew James was in the line-up, that he was there, somewhere, greeting his old teammates, maybe even sharing jokes, laughing and bumping shoulders. He gulped down his anger, focusing on the green pitch on which he would show the world James Milner could fuck off. 

And that’s what he did, but not really how David had envisaged. His fist had collided with James’ chin before he could register his action, seconds after the midfielder had lend his hand to haul David up after a bad tackle. David had stared at the inviting hand, a sign of a promise, a new start he wasn’t ready to make. Lifting his head, the familiar eyes, now synonym of stranger to him, had looked so hopeful, open, raw. David recognized his past self in it, the one that still believed in love and happy ever afters, the one that had been ready to believe everything James had said. Weak.

His teammates were shouting, carrying him away from James, the referee branding the expected red card. His knuckles hurt, his ankle throbbed but he wasn’t finished. Walking off under the boos of the Liverpool fans, he heard some Citizens clap. This was just the beginning of his healing.

And if I believe you, would that make it stop?

If I told you I need you, is that what you want?

I’m broken and bleeding, and begging for help

And if I believe you, would that make it stop?

No.

**Author's Note:**

> I don't think they can patch things up, at least in this universe.


End file.
